Something Wicked This Way Comes

Dim's Exodus Series

(Wherein Dim attaches his name like faecal matter to a noun and the word “Series” part the 100^th)

40k was saved, but not for me. Now fuck off, Sam.

Opening Note: If by some kind of magic you find your way to this series without following the link I posted from my forum, welcome. I don't mind anyone reading this, but if some references refer to an audience I obviously don't have on this thing, or material (look at the sparse amount of entries) or references to names, events etc that make no sense, it's because this is aimed at my forum friends. This material is only here because technical issues prevent it being posted there. You are still welcome to read it, it will mostly simply be ranting about GW. If you're into that sort of thing.

An Introduction

This is a strange situation. I've mostly made my peace with GW at this stage, and having spent years criticising GW's stupid attitude to its own customers, a "romancing drive" seemed an apt time to end my tenure. On the face of it, it seems as if GW's turnaround has merely just been too little, too late for me. And largely I feel that is mostly true. However... It's not as if GW aren't actually up to the same sorts of shenanigans, nor are their games actual improvements in the ways that a lot of gamers had hoped. Nobody has bothered with the pushback yet, and I don't think the reason is a lack of things to push back against. After all at least with 7th Edition you had a game you could actually talk about... I mean, at least 7^th pissed people off. Critics of 8^th, like myself, are mostly bored above anything else.

I'm not convinced that New GW^TM is an actual thing, and I don't believe their games are better. I find it fucking hilarious that the apologists have picked up GW's banner with no sense of irony, shame or humiliation and resumed where they left off, in spite of GW vindicating pretty much every rational criticism sent at both at GW and the Apologists themselves. For a while I wondered why, but now I know. GW notices them. GW pretends to care about them, and after all if you've been consistently sucking corporate cock for 15 years it is about time the recipient at least condescended to provide some eye contact. Maybe even a brief ejaculation: "We're Listening^TM" they whisper like that woman from those Marks & Spenser ads. You can just feel their mouths swell with satisfaction can't you. And naturally, they swallowed it.

And there's a first for Dim. A decent analogy.

It's not easy biting your tongue, really. I actually tried taking some Apologist advice. Decided to quit. It wasn't easy, but I did it. I haven't played 40k or read a book about it in about 8 months. And it has been surprisingly liberating. But not effective. Whilst I am a fair bit happier I'm still pretty bitter, and irritated. I mean, I have no real interest in fighting for gamers as consumers. That ship has sailed. I'm not sure I believe in karma, but GW making their two principle games into stripped down army list simulators, with the vast majority of its variation and nuance stripped out of it and sold hilariously at boutique is precisely what this community of power gaming dicetards deserves. Any more effort than that is basically a waste. I do feel for everyone else, who at least expected some variable amount of “more” than 8^th is, but ultimately 8th is for everyone who feels they kinda liked 7^th anyway. Like I said, they deserve this.

So this isn't advocacy. This is more personal, really. I want to clear the air, say what I feel I need to say, because there's no actual reason for me to retain or bury these thoughts any more. I'm going to air them here and then be done with it, and move on. I do it here principally because it's a sizeable part of my 40k experience, and it seems apt to close it here. Besides, I know there's at least half a dozen to a dozen of you that will be entertained by this regardless of whether you guys agree with any of it or not. A few definitely won't, but a few of those people have discredited themselves to my mind, so at this point I don't care. I tried pulling punches last year. This time, I won't bother. To everyone else who likes 8^th but doesn't feel the need to treat every detractor like they're some sort of defective moron who needs only to see things that they already know are there, well, you guys can make up your own mind about my words or just not bother with the series at all. I'm not judging you either way.

So for the first, last and only time I'm issuing a content warning (given the analogy above it's probably a bit late but hey at least I'm doing the eye contact thing within a decade). I am going to be brutally honest and I'm going to say quite a few pretty harsh (but, as always, reasoned) criticisms of GW, some individuals within it and quite a sizeable portion of GW's fanbase. If that sort of thing bothers you, by reading beyond the intro you have at least been warned as to its content. As recompense for this series, I am going to try and finish Wurrgitz and I have something special planned for Christmas. A more proper send off to the "writey" parts of the forum. I will be returning to the Mek's at some point, given my new project (a friend is willing to play any edition with me so I'm looking at 3rd and 4th atm) but in terms of 8th, or likely anything in the future, 40k is dead to me. In every way that matters.

Just to cover a few more things, yes I filled in this year's community survey. I was constructive but quite scathing. Whilst I haven't played in a long while, I am still in a community that mostly plays 40k, so let's not try the ignorance card. I've watched enough games to know I'm not really missing anything of value. Much of this series will contain jokes, although considering my deranged sense of humour I make no assurances you'll find it funny. And yes, this really is it, this is my final series of “Dim tries to persuade everyone he's right in a verbose, rhetorical fashion through a series of articles with clickbait titles”. This is largely a release for me, and entertainment for you. That is its only principle function. I would be lying if I said I wasn't judging people... it would be unfair to dodge that accusation. But I wholeheartedly do not judge anyone for liking this game, for enjoying this game and for hoping it will only improve. I just cannot share your viewpoint in any three instances (and people patronisingly telling me to look at the positives are just fucking irritating at this stage), principally because most of GW's feedback is coming from the morons who defended 7^th Ed. But that's now your problem, not mine. Just putting that out there.

This isn't a message to GW by the way. Whether they would listen or not these days might get covered in a rant, but either way at this point I don't really care. Is this a message to you? Well, maybe, but I'm not obliging anyone to care or even read it. I'm going to do my best to make these rants fun and interesting, but I'm not as invested in the issues raised as I was when I wrote some of them. Some of them are being written now, but principally the motivation is to get this off my chest. I'm tired of hanging onto it. Ultimately, if even one person reads it and goes “Those sure are some opinions”, that'll do.

Finally some of you may be wondering, why here? Why now? Thought you were leaving and stuff? Well that might still happen. If I do stay, it wont be as a gamer supporting the current edition at the very least. Why post this on the forum? Well partly, I just find the obvious death of discourse in most of the sections of the forum to be incredibly depressing, almost as if all those blowhards who said it was better than ever were talking shit or something. I don't know. I just wanted to get people talking, hang out with some of my old friends on here, have a laugh, and talk about the good old days.

Oh and yes, each rant “article” will have a picture. Because at least one of you seems to need them.

So, to make this intro a Shakespeare sandwich: once more unto the breach dear friends. Once more.